The Clown Prince of Wonderland
by Windrises
Summary: The Joker, along with Batman's other enemies, try to take over Wonderland. Will Alice and Batman be able to stop them?


Note: Batman is owned by DC Comics and was created by writer Bill Finger and artist Bob Kane. Alice in Wonderland was written and created by Lewis Carroll. This story is for both this website and Fanpop.

The Joker, the clown prince of crime, was having a meeting with the Mad Hatter. The two of them chatted while sipping on some eccentric tasting tea. The Mad Hatter was unfamiliar with the Joker so he didn't know that the wicked clown had evil intentions. Joker was trying to seem like a nice fellow and Mad Hatter was crazy enough to believe him. Joker said, "You're probably super busy and I'm sure you're having worn out feelings."

Mad Hatter replied, "You can say that again." Joker repeated it five times for the heck of it. Mad Hatter rolled his eyes and said, "You make a fair point Joker. Making hats five days a week and throwing a mad tea party every day sure gets tiresome. Me and the others could use a break. However, finding substitutes is hard, because it's hard to find somebody mad enough."

Joker had an excited smile on his face while asking, "How about letting me and my friends be the Wonderland characters for a brief time? That way, you'd get the precious vacation that you dearly deserve."

Mad Hatter thought about it and asked, "What are your friends like?"

Joker said, "Spending time with them is like being in an asylum. However, they have quite the mad sense of humor."

Mad replied, "I really like your offer, but I'm concerned if they're mad enough."

Joker confidently said, "Don't worry about it, Mr. Hightopp. They're mad, bonkers, but do you want to know a secret?" Mad Hatter had an excited smile, while nodding. Joker said, "All of the most dangerous people are mad."

Mad Hatter raised an eyebrow and asked, "Don't you mean the best people are mad?"

Joker shrugged and answered, "Whatever."

Mad Hatter replied, "Then send them down here. Me and the others will head off and enjoy the maddest vacation that we've ever had."

Joker jumped around the tea table while saying, "This is the most splendid of news." The Mad Hatter and his friends started packing up their stuff while the inmates of Arkham Asylum started heading to Wonderland.

The March Hare walked up to the Mad Hatter and asked, "Can the clown and his weirdo friends be trusted?"

The Mad Hatter sternly said, "It's important to not forget my most essential policy."

March Hare asked, "What is that?"

Mad Hatter said, "The number one thing that Wonderland always allows is weirdo friends. That sort of eccentric charm is what makes our Wonderland be the highest form of specialness."

Mad Hatter walked up to Joker and said, "It's important that there's a tea party everyday. It keeps the spirits up."

Joker smiled while saying, "I'm never lacking in the spirits department."

Mad Hatter put a purple hat on the Joker's head and said, "I wish you luck." Joker waved goodbye to the Mad Hatter.

The Joker walked up to his criminal allies and said, "Wonderland will be our new hideout. Batman will never find us, because it's so far away from Gotham." The villains were a little scared about following one of Joker's crazy ideas, but they had been running out of ideas.

A few days later Joker, Penguin, and, Riddler were having a tea party. Joker made Penguin dress up like the March Hare and the Riddler dress up like the Dormouse. Penguin angrily asked, "Why do I have to wear this silly costume?"

Joker said, "It's the best look for you."

Penguin asked, "How come there's no penguins in Wonderland?"

Riddler replied, "I'm upset too. Wonderland should have a prince of puzzlers."

Joker said, "And you two should have mouths that are only used for compliments."

Alice went to Wonderland for one of her monthly visits. She looked around and saw that the cute critters of Wonderland had been replaced with grumpy looking crime bosses. Alice said, "Curiouser and curiouser."

Alice walked to the Mad Hatter's tea table. She was hoping that the Mad Hatter could explain to her what was going on, but he wasn't there. She walked up to the Joker and tapped him on the hat.

Joker turned around and saw Alice. He asked, "Can I help you?"

Alice politely smiled and said, "I'm Alice. I'm a close friend of the citizens of Wonderland and I'm wondering where they wondered off to."

Joker replied, "They're on vacation. Me and my adversaries decided to fill-in for them."

Alice was confused, but she faced Joker and the others and said, "Very well then." She started walking away from the tea table.

Penguin asked, "Who was that young woman?"

Riddler said, "It was probably an anime girl."

Alice got out her cellphone and called the Mad Hatter. The Mad Hatter and his friends were lounging at Bruce Wayne's swimming pool. The Mad Hatter faced Bruce and asked, "Can you see who's calling me?"

Bruce calmly said, "No problem." He picked up the phone and asked, "Who's there?"

Alice said, "This is Alice."

Bruce replied, "Hi Alice. This is Bruce Wayne, the richest doofus in Gotham. The Mad Hatter, March Hare, Dormouse, and Cheshire Cat are all guests at my mansion. Can I help you?"

Alice said, "I'm afraid that I have some judgmental doubts about something."

Bruce politely replied, "Don't worry about it Alice. I have judgmental doubts whenever Clark Kent tries to accomplish anything."

Alice said, "Wonderland has some freaky people filling in for the Wonderland characters."

Bruce asked, "Who are they?"

Alice said, "A bunch of eccentric people that are being led by a clown."

Bruce realized what was going on so he replied, "I'll send somebody to check up on that." He hung up the phone and faced the Mad Hatter and his friends. Bruce said, "You guys can keep partying, but I have a business thing to take care of."

The Mad Hatter asked, "Does your business involve hats?"

Bruce said, "No, it involves a more serious type of profession."

The March Hare replied, "How bland." Bruce shook his fist at the March Hare and walked away. Bruce went into the Batcave and got on his Batman costume.

A few hours later Batman arrived in Wonderland. He looked around for the Joker. Catwoman tapped Batman on the mask and said, "Meow Batman."

Batman turned around and saw that Catwoman was wearing a pink Cheshire Cat costume. Batman asked, "Selina, why are you wearing that?"

Catwoman said, "Because it's the purrfect thing for me to wear while I'm in Wonderland."

Batman replied, "Skip the puns."

Catwoman responded, "Don't be a party hurter."

Batman said, "This is a serious problem, not a party."

Catwoman asked, "What's wrong with Joker and the others filling in for the weirdos of Wonderland?"

Batman said, "You guys belong in Arkham Asylum. You broke out so that you can spread madness to this place."

Catwoman gently started scratching up Batman's cape while saying, "Forget about the heroic antics and join in on the evil fun."

Batman sternly replied, "Evilness isn't fun. It's twisted and awful." He pushed Catwoman out of the way and tried to find the Joker.

The Scarecrow was acting as the Knave of Hearts. He saw Batman so he and the guards went after him. Batman tried to outrun them, because his mind was focused on defeating the Joker. However, Scarecrow and the guards started blocking him. Scarecrow said, "Grant us the treat of giving up."

Batman replied, "Giving up isn't a thing that should ever be done. Working hard towards goal is an essential step of life that should always be followed."

Scarecrow said, "Come on Batman. Morality is too sensible for this mad world."

Batman replied, "No matter how weird things get, the rules of morality should be applied. You and the others think that being crazy is an excuse to do whatever evil stuff you want, but I assure you that it's not." Scarecrow sprayed knockout gas at Batman. Batman passed out.

When Batman woke up, he was being put on trial. Batman looked and grumpily asked, "What the heck is going on?"

The Joker had an evil smile on his face while saying, "You're being put on trial."

Batman had a confused look on his face, while asking, "Why?"

Joker said, "For ruining Wonderland with your grumpy seriousness."

Batman asked, "Can I have a lawyer?"

Joker said, "If you can convince a nerd to be one."

Batman looked around and saw Two-Face. He said, "Harvey, you used to be a lawyer before you became a villain. Will you be my lawyer?"

Two-Face got out his coin and replied, "If the coin lands on heads." He flipped the coin. It landed on tails so he said, "You aren't getting help from me."

Alice walked up to Batman said, "I'll be your lawyer."

Batman replied, "But you're not a real or official lawyer."

Alice responded, "Wonderland purposely avoids logic, so pretty much anybody can be a lawyer."

Poison Ivy was acting as the Queen of Hearts. She approached the crowd and said, "Off with his mask."

Batman replied, "Hold on. The trial hasn't actually happened yet."

Poison Ivy said, "Very well then."

Joker started walking around the courtroom. He jumped around and said, "Batman needs to go. He corrupts our beloved chaos with his morals and his desire to bring logic."

Penguin replied, "Batman has too much common sense."

Riddler said, "Wonderland needs wackos, not superheroes."

Catwoman said, "Batman's loaded with good looks, but his stupid common sense ruins everything."

Scarecrow added, "I'm afraid of the damage his moral seriousness would give to our evil chaos."

Alice stood up and said, "I object to this nonsense."

Poison Ivy replied, "Objecting to nonsense is the opposite of what Wonderland's about."

Alice said, "Wonderland's not exactly the kingdom of normal stuff, but it has some redeeming qualities."

Joker replied, "Like I care."

Alice could tell that the trial wasn't going well. She put her hands over her face and said, "Wonderland might be doomed."

Batman patted Alice's shoulder and replied, "Even if things seem bleak, I guarantee that I won't give up. Whether you're in Gotham or Wonderland, one rule that stays consistent is that good always defeats evil."

Joker stubbornly responded, "That's not true."

Batman replied, "The citizens of Wonderland would never let corrupt criminals take over."

Alice paused and realized that Batman was right. The Mad Hatter sure lived up to the mad part of his name, but even he would be smart enough to not let the Joker be in charge. Alice realized that she was dreaming. She opened her eyes and realized that she was in the park with her sister.

Alice's sister said, "Me and the other kids played for an hour while you took a nap. What were you doing?"

Alice replied, "Dreaming."

Alice's sister asked, "What were you dreaming about?"

Alice said, "Things that were mad, bonkers." She smiled and said, "All the best dreams are like that." Alice looked around and saw a batarang. She started wondering whether or not, the dream happened. She smiled and said, "The best dreams have some truth to them." Batman smiled, while hiding his shadows and heading back to Gotham. Alice knew that Batman would be around to stop any crime, no matter how mad or batty things got.


End file.
